Yesterday morning, Atticus decided to wake up about 4 hours earlier than normal. In order to let my husband get some sleep, I brought the baby into the living room and rocked him. He screamed.
That’s how the next hour went. I rocked; I tried to feed him; I tried to play. I did everything that I could possibly think of to make him happy, and he just screamed. After becoming extremely frustrated I raised my voice, “ATTICUS. I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT!”
I immediately felt terrible. I woke my husband up and asked him to take the baby. I explained that I wasn’t in a good mood and couldn’t handle it right now. Atticus got quiet pretty quickly after Brandon got him, and I slept for 2.5 hours.
For the entirety of the day, Atticus held a grudge. I was not allowed to hold him unless he was eating. Otherwise, he wanted his daddy.
It was really tough. I already felt like a terrible mother, and it felt like my child was confirming it. As the night came to an end, Atticus forgave me. I was holding him at one point and whispered, “I’m so sorry that I was a mean mommy.” He smiled. Thank God for the forever forgiving, always loving nature of a child.
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